I had almost finished with the incantation when a cricket landed a few inches from the parchment. I flicked it aside before it could damage the priceless document. I finished the last few lines of the chant and waited. At least I could blame the cricket when this attempt failed.
As expected, nothing happened. I was going to grab a coffee before my next attempt when the dead insect stirred. It shook itself, then got to its hind legs and walked to a candle. It leaned against the candle with one arm…or leg. All it needed was a carrot to imitate Bugs Bunny.
“I thought you’d never get it right!” the cricket said in a surprisingly deep voice. “You sacrificed your soul, not to mention the life of this innocent cricket.” Suddenly it was munching on a tiny carrot. “What’s up Doc?”
“YOU’RE A DEMON?” I screeched!
“I ain’t no Elmer Fudd. Now let’s hurry things along, I got seven more souls to collect today.” He bowed… at least as far as a cricket could bow. “What is your bidding, oh my Master?”
I hadn’t been ready to deal with a talking cricket, but this question I had prepared for. “First of all, I want to live forever. Secondly I want…” I stopped because the insect was rolling around, helpless with laughter.
“You, you…” he sputtered, “You want eternal life in exchange for a CRICKET? You think we’re having a sale or something? You can exchange this bug's life force for…don’t interrupt, I want to get this right…”
It returned to its hind legs and announced. “In exchange for this innocent crickets life, I will extend your life by 0.00000343 seconds. Deal?” he asked, offering to shake.
“THAT’S IT?” I yelled.
“You really have to learn to use your indoor voice. Yes, that is it. If you wanted a longer life, you should have sacrificed a person or a dog. Even a hamster would have been an improvement.”
“Not a dog!” I protested.
“It’s never a dog,” the demon said softly.
“What do I have to give you next time so I live forever?”
“Unless you have another soul, there is no next time. You had one chance and you used an insect, It said simply. “What else do you want to try for?”
“What if I don’t wish for anything?”
“Then you wasted a cricket's life. Oh yeah, you’re still damned. So use it or lose it.”
“What about wealth?”
“Seventeen cents.”
“Health?” I tried.
“I can remove a splinter.”
“What if I give you someone else's soul?”
“You get ONE chance, cricket boy.”
“Um…” Obviously, I had not prepared for this. “Any suggestions?” I asked weakly.
“Hows the sex life?”
“Could be better,” I admitted.
“Okay! Now we’re talking!” He began spinning and when he stopped, he was using a gold ring like a hula hoop. “I got a device for you that when you wear it, BAM, you have the sex drive of a nineteen year old. Take it off and..well, you’re you.” He was now standing on the ring as it spun beneath him.
“How long does it last?” I asked, looking for the catch.
“As long as you are wearing it. And…ya ready for this? You can use it as often as you like. Lifetime guarantee!” he cried happily, as he tossed the ring into the air.
“Deal!” I yelled as I grabbed the ring before he could catch it. I slid the ring down my, well, ring finger and felt nothing. “Hey, it's not working! It’s too big!” I complained.
“Wrong digit,” he said dryly. “Try fitting it on Mr. Happy.” He pointed to my exposed cock. “Slide it ALLLLL the way down!”
I didn’t stop to ask what had happened to my clothes, I slid the ring over my flaccid penis. “It is still too large.”
“Turn the ring clockwise.” He instructed. Now things began to happen. The ring tightened until it was squeezing my penis most pleasantly. Tendrils shot out from both sides. The ones closest to my body formed a second ring behind my balls that was connected to the original. The threads in front formed a tight golden mesh, completely covering my growing dick. In less than a second my cock was encased in unfeeling metal. I couldn’t touch it and I REALLY needed to touch it.
“What the fuck is this?” I screeched!
“Indoor voice, he said, calmly. “This is what you have in exchange for your soul and Jiminy’s life. Any time you want to feel randy, you just slip it on and give it a little twist. To take it off, you twist the other way.”
“But I can’t feel anything!” I said in a calm voice. Okay, I whined and begged…but calmly!
“Liar,” he said, softly. “You feel horny, you can feel your cock straining inside its new home, you feel frustrated, you feel angry. Just ooooodles of feelings!”
The bug jumped on my throbbing cock. “I gave you an extra inch, no charge!” he said, as he walked up and down. “Now here is the neat part: girls are going to want you. Every girl you’ve ever lusted after, now lusts for YOU!”
I twisted the ring and it grew as my cock shrank. The demon gave a tiny yelp as his perch disappeared. I no longer felt the soul-consuming need that had overwhelmed me just a few seconds earlier. I already missed it.
“Put it on again, just for a few seconds,” he suggested, dusting himself off as he regained his feet, “Let the girls know their lover is ready.” I turned the ring and the sweet lust consumed me. Wait here and the girls will start coming. They’ll be coming from every direction. And they’ll keep coming and coming…” The little crickets body finally collapsed into a pile of ash, “But you won’t!” was the final taunt of the demon.
I’ll show him, I’ll take the ring off and throw it away…in a minute.