For six hundred and seventy four long years, I have dragged a now ancient wooden casket around with me. Each day I enter it to sleep away the sunlight, then today, a Tuesday evening, a perfectly ordinary Tuesday evening, in the twentieth century I switch on the computer, select the internet, and what do I discover? A Spandex Sleep Sack!

Now this is interesting I think, wondering if it might just make my travel arrangements simpler. I order the sleep sack and the complete hood as shown in the catalogue. The woman they have wearing it has a neat ponytail sticking out of the back, but I have no hair nowadays.

The service is excellent, and shortly I hold in my hands the items I have ordered.

A quick test, it is difficult at first to figure out how to get into the thing, but O’ my, once I have, it all works out perfectly. The snug feeling is sheer luxury. The hood covers my head fully and now I know that I can finally, after centuries sleep in a normal bed! I no longer need my coffin just my spandex sleep sack, and hood.

Thank you spandex I type on my computer, I for some reason seem to feel that I must be polite, and respond, and express my sincere delight in the product and service. It has changed my life completely…

Yours sincerely.

The Count.

I end my E-mail.

06.04.10