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My Odyssey Part 5: My First Consultation by As narrated

by Anne-Marie to Tony B

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© Copyright 2008 - Anne-Marie to Tony B - Used by permission

Storycodes: M/m; bodymod; sub; cons; X

(story continues from )

My Odyssey

As narrated by Anne-Marie Killamajiian,
Wife of Ahmed, of the House of Mustaffa, the Diamond Merchant

Warning: This story involves bondage, consensual sex, domination, coercion, sex changes, sexual slavery, rape, and other jiggery-pokery. It is entirely fictional, and is intended as entertainment for adults only. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, or to any location or activity is purely coincidental. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. (As if anybody ever is!)

Note: If you would like to contact the authoress to make a comment, you may contact Anne through Tony-B who originally published it as "My Story". She hopes you enjoy reading her story. Tony would also appreciate your comments. We will endeavor to answer all emails.

RECAP: In Part 4, Jim learned how he could get of jail, and of prison, but it would involve changing his life, forever. Additionally, Jai, the love of his life, had been taken away, and he had only Doctor Bulieu to help him ….

Part 5: My First Consultation

The next morning, I woke up to find myself in one of those electric hospital beds, in a private room in Doctor Bulieu’s “Clinic”. He was sitting in a high-backed chair opposite the bed, reading the paper. I made a little sound, acknowledging that I was awake.

“Oh, good!”, he exclaimed. “You’ve finally returned to the world of the living!”

“Don’t worry,” he continued, “you had some pretty heavy drugs last night, but all should be well in a couple of hours. Just stay calm, and I’ll see you after breakfast. In the meantime, if you have to go to the bathroom, it’s right over there.” He said, motioning to a door on the opposite side of the room.

“I’d prefer that you stay in your room for today. … I don’t want to expose you to too many of the staff just yet.”

“Okay”, I responded. With that, he got out of the chair, folded his paper, and left the room, leaving me alone, with time to look around and take stock of my situation. I did have to pee, so I worked my way out of the bed, and more-or-less stumbled to the bathroom, to take care of what needed to be done. I was still unsteady on my feet, and I was happy to return to the relative safety of the bed when I was finished. I was also, totally nude. My prison uniform was draped over another chair, dirty and wrinkled because I had been wearing it for weeks in that stinking jail. There were no other clothes in the room that I could see, so I climbed back into the bed totally naked, and covered myself with the sheet.

I usually have a bowel movement in the morning, but not today. … Not that I felt constipated, but there just didn’t seem to be anything there that wanted to come out. So I passed on that option, and waited to see what was going to happen next. I didn’t have long to wait.

The door opened, and a nurse in a starched, white uniform dress entered the room, carrying a cafeteria tray, with what was obviously my breakfast. Good, I was famished.

“Good morning,” she said, “I brought you something to eat. There is fresh fruit, oatmeal, toast and jelly, some scrambled eggs, and a couple pieces of bacon. You can have hot coffee, or tea, if you like – milk, or cocoa, or almost anything you want. No ‘soda pop’, though – we don’t stock that here, it’s unhealthy.” Just as well, I didn’t like soda pop anyway!

But, God, it was a breakfast fit for a king. You couldn’t get better in a First-Class Hotel. I was hungry, and scarfed it down quickly. … Not a bad waitress, either, I thought to myself.

After a while, another nurse came by to get the tray. She smiled at me, and nodded, but left without speaking. … She came back a minute later, and told me the Doctor was ready to see me. …

* * * *

I was given a bathrobe to wear, and led down a hallway to Dr, Bulieu’s office, and ushered inside. I found him seated at a large desk on one side of the room, directly facing the door. “Sit down”, he offered, waving his hand toward a chair at the side of his desk. I sat.

“Okay,” he said. The first thing we’ll do here is discuss your program, take your vitals and start your charts. Later today, you will see the nutritionist, who will help you plan your diet, and advise you on what to eat, as well as how much to eat, to maintain the body we will be giving you.”

“Okay”, I said. “I’m looking forward to the start of my treatments”, I lied! He laughed at that. A laugh that displayed an open attitude toward life, and much else. This was a man I thought I could grow to like.

“You’ve already started,” he said. Last night, you got your first injections of female hormones to start you on your way.”

I looked surprised. “I don’t feel any different”, I said.

“No”, he replied. “You won’t. It will be a gradual change. I told you that you wouldn’t feel any pain, or at least not much, yesterday, in the courthouse.” He paused for emphasis, then continued … “Last night, as you slept, you were given two massive injections of female hormones to start your bodily changes, one in each buttock. You were out like a light, and we use an airgun to force the solution through your skin, directly into the muscle mass, where it is picked up almost immediately by your bloodstream, and away you go. We will have to monitor your liver function very carefully, to make sure we don’t over-dose you. No need to worry though, we’ve done this before, and know what we’re doing.”

I felt relieved that at least I was in good hands. The doctor would make this trip as easy on me as possible.

The doctor continued, “There are many women in this world, most of them are unremarkable. I want to make you a spectacular exception. I want you to enjoy and celebrate being a woman!” He paused to let that sink in. …

“Now for some specifics”, he said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“Every morning, we will check your blood sugar level by pricking your finger to get a blood sample – don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt much”, he said. “We’ll take your blood pressure, heart rate and temperature. Usually it’ll be done by mouth, but once in a while, through the rectum in order to monitor your internal temperature. You’ll be weighed once a week to monitor your weight loss. Right now, you’re about 160 pounds, more or less. We want to get you down to 120 or so, to enhance your feminine characteristics.” I nodded my acceptance. I already had a hard and well-toned body, at 163 pounds. That was one feature some of the prisoners in the jail liked about my physique – they could imagine fucking my hard body for their own satisfaction. “Ugh”, I thought, shaking off the thought. The doctor had guessed my weight almost exactly. I didn’t know that they had weighed me last night while I was out of my mind. Those drugs had caused me to lose all track of what had been happening to me while I slept them off.

“I have to report,” I said, “that those drugs caused some hallucinations last night.”

“Yes,” he replied. “that was a slight overdose to get you out of there… to make it appear that you had some sort of medical problem that required immediate treatment. It won’t happen again. We watch very carefully to see that you get the right dosages when you need them. Part of our job is to get you - and keep you - as healthy as possible.” I nodded in understanding and agreement.

More specifics, as he continued… “After vitals are taken, you’ll have an hour of exercise before breakfast. We’ll teach you some new disciplines to better shape and tone your body. A shower, then a shave – for a while, anyway. You’ll eventually not need to shave any more as your facial hair disappears. After a planned breakfast, you will rest for a while, followed by a daily run, starting at a mile, and gradually getting longer, on a stationary treadmill. That’s to burn off calories, and help with your diet. A small lunch will be followed by another rest. You can nap if you like, read, or watch TV. The afternoon will be mostly yours. A few classes, now and then, will teach you how to use makeup, fix your hair, and accessorize clothes and your body. All the things that girls learn as they grow through puberty and their teenage years.”

“We’ll send you through our ‘Charm School’, where you will learn how to be charming, to smile, and how to please men. You’ll be taught how to dance in the female way, and how to live your life as a woman to the fullest. You’ll be taught both oriental and western ways to please yourself, and to please others. … When you are ready, you’ll be taught how to enjoy sexual pleasures. It doesn’t come naturally, it’s a learned skill. Most women have a lifetime to learn these skills, you have only a few months.

“Dinner will be another training exercise for you, since it will probably be the most social activity you’ll encounter in your new life, other than sex. You’ll be trained to act completely normally as a woman in social settings – with men, as well as with other women.”

“After dinner, an evening of reading – lots of porno and romance stories to increase your libido, which, along with your subliminal sleep training, will help you ease through this transition. Also, there will be tapes to watch.”

“Sleep training?”, I queried.

“Yes”, he continued… “Every night you will get a shot before bedtime which will act as a deep-sleep sedative. During your sleeping hours, the staff will play tapes for you at subliminal levels, that will ‘suggest’ various things to you. Your brain will accept these ‘suggestions’, and work to make them reality for you. No effort needed. What with the hormones affecting your body and brain, and the sleep training, your attitudes toward life, and everything else, will change to those of the female gender, almost exclusively. The process will take between three and six months, depending on how easily you are ‘programmed’.”

“When do I get the surgery?”, I interrupted.

“Tonight”, the doctor replied, Again, in his matter-of-fact tone.

An involuntary intake of breath on my part, signifying both my surprise and apprehension.

“Don’t worry”, the doctor went on, “We’ve done this before and know what we are doing. You’ll be perfectly safe. And you won’t remember any of the details. After you get to sleep tonight, the result of the bedtime sedative, we’ll put you into a deep sleep. … Almost a medical coma. We’ll take you into the operating theater, and ‘do the deed’ for you. You’ll be kept in the coma-like sleep for about three weeks while your body heals. Once the stitches are removed, you’ll be awakened, a completely new person. … I told you that you wouldn’t feel a thing. No pain, no fear, no second thoughts.”

“Why so quickly?”, I asked.

“Well,” he started, in that thoughtful gait of speech, “first off, so you won’t, or can’t, change your mind. Once it’s done, it’s done, and you can’t go back. The only way to go will be forward, to get on with it, leading you into a bold new adventure … your new life, so to speak.”

Again, I nodded that I understood, and parenthetically, I accepted. “Okay, what about tits? Implants?”, I asked.

“No,” he replied, “those will be totally real, and totally yours. As one of the results of your hormone treatments, they will grow naturally, just like they do for teenage girls. It will take about six months for you to grow a healthy pair of knockers”, he grinned. “There will be other changes in your body at the same time… Your hips will get wider, your waist will get smaller, and your butt will grow a bit. Your body will become less athletic than it is now, and your skin will get softer. You’ll flesh out a bit as you develop an inner layer of fat distribution, giving you that girlish softness.” Another pause to let my brain imagine such changes, and their implication.

“We may have to do a bit of hip surgery, later on, to get the correct pelvic tilt which will allow your spine to curve just right, making your butt stick out like that of a normal, genetic, female. But we’ll decide that, when the time comes.”

“Will I really enjoy sex?”, I asked… “I mean, after the surgery, will I enjoy sex with a man?”

“Yes, of course”, he replied. “In fact, you will be fully orgasmic. You’ll be able to respond to their touch, and depending on the development of your attitude, you’ll enjoy giving, as well as receiving all that we will prepare you to take. It will be different, of course, but I promise you, it will be pleasurable. You’ll grow to love every minute of intimacy with a partner, no matter who it might be, male, or female.”

That was one thing about Jai that I remembered. She loved looking at men, as well as women, appreciating their bodies as much as art.

I was getting quite an insight into this whole thing, this ‘program’ that I had committed myself to go through. Again, he continued… “There are dozens of things you need to learn – that you need to know, from the female point of view, in order to fully accept your new life. You’ll learn about feminine hygiene, for example, and why it will be so important to you. You’ll learn how to take care of your body – I won’t always be there, for you, after you leave.

“Will I remember my life as a man?”, I asked.

“Your old life will gradually fade in your memory, to the point that it will be hard to remember many of the details about it, as memories are replaced by your brain with more appropriate ones. Eventually, you’ll simply lose the connection with that portion of your memory, put it out of your mind and fully accept your new role. You will no longer remember that you were once a man. At that point, you will truly become a woman!”

“Will I remember Jai?”

“Yes. Peculiarly, the memories of your loved ones will still be there – but changed, in the sense that they will be seen as role models – or memories - as heroes and aspirations in your mind.”

I didn’t know what all that meant, but memories of Jai were one of the things I didn’t want to lose. Damn! I will miss that woman. Uh, person. I still couldn’t wrap my head around the thought that she had originally been a man. Like me. Like me, I guess… Just someone trying to make it through life, trying to make a successful space for themselves. Damn! I’m getting to be philosophic about all this – almost as if I’m on the outside, looking in at myself. Wait! What’s going on here? Why am I thinking about all this so retrospectively? I’ve got to pay more attention to the doctor. …. I brought my attention back to what he was saying!

I interrupted him… “Can I ask about Jai?”

“Our policy is that we never discuss our patients here”, he said. “But I know you loved Jai, so I’m going to break that rule, just this once. But never ask me again.”

“Yes, Doctor”, I agreed.

“What would you like to know?”, he asked.

“Is she okay?”, I asked.

“Yes, she’s fine”, he said. “She’s no worse for wear because of your last experience together. She came through it just fine. The vice-consul notified me that she had been jailed, and I rescued her the day after you were sentenced to prison. Because she had been through our system once, she didn’t require any retraining, and was ready to get on with her life. Her new husband will be much younger than her first husband, who died not too long after she was married the first time, and they will live happily together. You don’t have to worry about her. She will be well taken care of. ….. Are there any more questions?”

Yes, I had a thousand of them. He hadn’t told me about our separation, or how she had adjusted to life without me in it. Or any details about how she was treated in the jail. He didn’t tell me about whether she would remember me! I would certainly remember her!

“No Doctor”, I said. “You have filled in the blanks more than you know. I did love her, and still do. I may love her the rest of my life, but realize it is not to be. I had her, and loved her, for a brief time, but now must move on… As Jai used to say, ‘It is Karma!’ Thank you.”

My mind drifted off into memories. I could still remember her scent, and how she smiled up at me in the morning as she said, “Good Morning, Sunshine!” I was happy that she would be happy! I remembered her voice – and her kiss. But most of all, I remembered her love. I felt tears well up in my eyes, and that strange feeling in my sinuses that told me I was on the verge of crying. Suddenly, I realized the Doctor had been rattling on while I was thinking of her …..

“… and so, we get to the actual operation. …” Damn, again! What did I miss while I was off day-tripping about Jai? Never mind that, with all this talk about love, could I be a lesbian? Could I really make it with another woman, if I was a woman, myself? What would I allow her to do to me? What would I want her to do to me? Well, there was that Chastity Belt that Jai had… I wonder where I could get one? Damn! There I go again!

The doctor was speaking… “after removing the testicles, I’ll make a vertical cut down the length of your penis to release the urethra. We’ll redirect that to the normal female position near the end of the procedure.” … I was hearing, but I wasn’t listening, if you know what I mean. Or was it the other way around? My head was swimming with the technical descriptions of what he was about to do to me, tonight. God! Could I really go through with this? Yes, I decided. I had to. It was too late to turn back now.

“… We totally remove the prostate, of course, since you won’t need it any longer. The two erection sacks – the caverna mucosa - will be moved into place to form your labia majora – your cunt lips, so to speak. An advantage of this procedure is that as you become aroused, the labia will become engorged with blood, and will swell somewhat, preparing you for penetration. … As the inverted penis skin is pulled down into position, it will create the beautiful female cleft that men are so fond of seeing in Playboy, and other such magazines.”

My God, am I really going to be given such a wondrous thing as a fully functioning vagina???

“… We’ll snip off a bit of the head tissue, carefully preserving the nerve endings, and insert it just under the skin, making a very sensitive clitoris. A couple of stitches will pull a bit of skin over it, both to protect and hide it, just like that of all women. – The clitoral hood, as it’s known. … When you engage in sex, the hood will be pushed toward the front of the pubis, providing access to your clit.”

“The rest of the head will be moved slightly, and will form the cervix. As far as any gynecologist will know, it will appear to be slightly enlarged, but a perfectly normal cervix. The length of your penis will be an advantage, since it will all appear totally normal for your size and height when we’re finished. Additionally, it will allow you to take the penis of almost any man… certainly any man you’re likely to meet unless you choose a career as a porn star. Another advantage of this technique is that, as you engage in intercourse, the man’s penis will repeatedly press against the cervix – the most sensitive part of the head of your former penis, which will greatly affect your pleasure, and help bring you to orgasm. In fact, it will be a trained response. ‘Female conditioning’, as it were.”

There it was. That’s how he is going to make me respond to being fucked. To have an orgasm – a true, female orgasm. Good God, how I’m going to look forward to that! … Whoa! There I go again. Fantasizing about something I had never thought about before! What is that? Where is it coming from? Were those subliminal tapes already affecting my brain? After only one night of a drug-induced sleep? I had no answer for that yet. I suppose I’ll find out sooner or later, but for right now, I’ll leave it in the doctor’s hands. … And his skills!

“… when you come out of it, you’ll have a whole new wardrobe, too. Some beautiful clothes to wear, and show off your growing assets.” I was tripping, again, losing half of what he was saying. But did it really matter? The decision had already been made. We were going through with it, and that was that!

“… a single stitch in your vocal cords will raise the frequency and timbre of your voice to that of any normal woman. …”, he went on. I was only getting about half of what he was saying. It was almost too much to grasp – or understand.

He continued. “… the sperm from different men will have different tastes, depending on their own diets. Different ‘flavors’, if you will. You may like some, and not others. Whatever your feelings, it will be important to suppress them, and continue doing your duty. …”

What’s he talking about? A blowjob? I had never given another man a blowjob, and didn’t think I’d like it Maybe that would change. Maybe as a woman, I’ll be expected to do it. Ugh! Not something I want to think about, right now. I’ll put it out of my mind for now, and will deal with it later – if I have to. It may be that I’d prefer being a lesbian. But then, there’s that dislike for going down on women to deal with, too. Jeez, I hadn’t thought about that! … Will my pussy stink? Will I be able to smell it all the time? It’s going to be with me, wherever I go. Will I notice? Will other people notice? Damn! More questions than answers!

I started listening again… “… With the massive doses of hormones, all your bodily changes will be speeded up, over that of genetic women. The tits will grow out to full size in about six months. Your hair will grow longer, and faster. Your nails will become stronger, and less subject to breakage. … “

What was that, again? I wasn’t paying attention. …

“Once a week you’ll be pampered like you’ve never been pampered before. In addition to the manicure and pedicure, you'll get a shampoo, trim, and whatever else it takes to style it beautifully. ... Permanent cosmetic tattoos will avoid the necessity of wearing makeup, except when you want to emphasize various features of your face. … Maybe some facial surgery to make your facial features more feminine … “ I was only catching pieces of his conversation, now. Conversation? Not really. He was doing all the talking. He thought I was listening, of course, and I suppose that’s what a lot of women do… sit and listen, but not hear, what is going on around them. If that’s the case, he’s doing a swell job of it. – As was I.

Describing the Meds …

“After you wake up from the surgery,” the Doctor continued, “You’ll get one pill a day for about three months, called ‘Spironolactone’. It’s an anti-androgen. After we remove your testes, your body won’t be producing testosterone, The ‘Spiro’ will suppress and kill off any male hormones left in your body, leaving the female hormones to take over and do their work. Three months worth is about average.”

“You’ll continue to receive female hormone shots while you sleep, for as long as your body needs them At that point, the dosage will be lowered, and they’ll act more like ‘booster shots’ than the heavy doses you’ll get for the first three weeks. You won’t notice the difference in hormone levels day-to-day, of course, but you will notice, and feel, the changes in your body. I guarantee they won’t be painful.”

“And that’s pretty much, all you’ll need!”

THE GROUND RULES:

There was a pregnant pause in his voice. I sensed that he was waiting for a reply, but I didn’t know what to say …

“Right, doc”, I finally exclaimed, nodding my head.

His face turned serious. “Don’t get too familiar, my boy. I’m not your friend yet. I’m your doctor, and I expect to maintain a professional relationship, so be more respectful. You can call me Doctor, or Doctor Bulieu, but never, ever, call me ‘Doc’, again. While we’re at it, there are some ground rules in your program, that you must follow – to the letter”, he said.

I knew that I had been chastised, and would follow his rules, because they would be in my best interests. - Now where did that come from??? I’m beginning to think some funny thoughts. Not funny in the sense of being humorous, but funny in a way that I’d never thought about them before.

It seemed as if his whole demeanor had changed. He was being stern with me. Was he mad? At this point, I just didn’t know…

“First,” he continued, You must not fight the program or create problems with me or the staff. If you do, we’ll just call the state police, and you’ll be back in prison in a worse condition than you were yesterday.

He paused to let that sink in. “Understood?”, he asked. “Yes, sir”, I replied.

“Second, from now on, you will not look me directly in the face. When you see me, you will drop your eyes so I will know we are still on the same page as far as your medical treatments are concerned. This is to sharpen your sense of submission, to the point where you will accept second-class treatment from men.”

“Understood?” he asked again. “Yes, sir”, I replied.

“Good. Now drop your eyes. I don’t want to see you looking directly at me again. That doesn’t mean we won’t ever be friends, but first and foremost, you must realize that I am your doctor, and will treat you accordingly.”

“Understood?”, once more. “Yes sir”, I heard myself say. As ordered, I dropped my eyes to where I was looking at his belt buckle, more or less. For the first time, I noticed a slight bulge in the front of his pants. I thought he must be getting off on controlling me like this. I didn’t know then, that he was setting up a psychological pattern of a stern father-daughter relationship, with me submitting to his will – as I would be, later on with the rest of my new life. He wanted me not so much to fear him, but to be willing to submit to his will without questioning it, and without hesitation.

I sat there, silently. I was already starting to pick up some of Jai’s best submissive traits. And strangely, I wanted to!

It seemed like minutes ticked by. I didn’t know what to say to break the silence. Finally, he said, “Good. I’ll accept your silence as acceptance.”

“Rule number three! Through this change, you’re going to be horny as hell! I don’t want you to have sex with anyone here until I say you’re ready, and approve the activity. We have to be very careful that you don’t do anything that destroys any of the work we’ve done up to that point. … Understood?”

“Yes, sir”, I replied, keeping my eyes glued to his belt buckle.

“Good! … Let’s take a break for a while,” he said. “I want to show you around the Clinic – and introduce you to some of the staff.” Okay with me, I thought. Lead on, doc. Uh, Doctor, I mean. Glad he didn’t hear that!

He came around his desk, and held out his hand to assist me in rising. The exact same thing I did for Jai at that restaurant, the first time we ate dinner together. I figured he wanted me to act feminine, so I took his hand and as gracefully as I could, I stood up. As I rose, I made the mistake of glancing directly at his face, and into his eyes. “Uh, uh”, he reminded me, “don’t look directly into my face.” I immediately dropped my eyes to the floor and stood there, waiting for further instructions. If I’m going to be a woman, I thought, I’m going to be the best damn woman I can be!

He led me to the door, and as he reached for the knob, remarked, “You’re doing very well. I want you to think about what you want your new name to be. Remember, whatever you choose will be your own, permanent choice.”

With that, he opened the door and stepped back, allowing me to pass through, first. Closing the door behind us, he took me by the elbow, and we started down the hall It was a pleasure not hearing the door being locked behind us. A few doors down the hall, we hadn’t passed anyone yet, and he stopped in front of an unmarked door.. Opening it, he escorted me inside. It turned out to be a wardrobe room… Maybe a laundry of some sort. There were uniforms and dry cleaning bags hung on pipes and hooks all over the room.

“Get undressed”, he said. “I’m going to give you a change of clothes to get you out of that bathrobe for the time being, and you won’t be seeing your prison uniform again.” … I looked around to see if there was a screen or something that I could step behind to take off the robe. There wasn’t.

“Go ahead, take off your robe”, he said. “I’ve seen it all before. You haven’t got anything I haven’t seen… I was there last night when you were stripped and washed.”

I was a bit reluctant, but decided there was no point in being coy about my naked body… especially in front of my doctor. I took off the robe, dropping it into a heap on the floor in front of me. I was careful to keep my eyes on the floor, where he wanted them. “Put your hands behind your back”, he commanded. I knew what he wanted, or at least I thought I knew, so I crossed my wrists in the classic bondage position. He just stood there, looking me over. I could see his pantlegs from his shoes to his knees as he walked around behind me to get a better view of my backside. I wondered what was going through his mind, not realizing that this was actually part of his examination.

“Very good,” I heard him say, and I knew that he wasn’t thinking sexual thoughts about me at that time. I just stood there looking at the floor, following his instruction. He went to a rack and took a garment from a hanger. Then to a laundry basket, where he pulled out a pair of shorts he wanted me to wear. Handing these garments to me, he said, “Here, put these on.”

I took the garments from him, and bending over, pulled the shorts over my feet and up my legs. I had not noticed it before, but these weren’t ordinary shorts, they were really what are called ‘hot pants’ – a real short, short. The shirt he handed me was a large-size T-shirt. Some women call them ‘tunics’. Just a big T-shirt that comes down over the hips to mid-thigh. Virtually a Mini-Skirt – or Mini-Dress. I knew he was starting to get me used to wearing women’s clothes.

“Next, you’ll need some new shoes”, he said. “What size do you wear?”

“A wide 9”, I replied, still looking at the floor.

“That should be an 11-C in a woman’s shoe”, he said. “We’ll try that for size, first. Sit down over there”, he directed, motioning to a chair against the wall. I followed directions, smoothing the back of my tunic over my ass as I sat, then kind of pulling the front down to hide my crotch and the obvious bulge that had always been the pride of my manhood. - My ‘manhood’ – Ha! That was a big joke right now, or soon would be! Soon it would be lost, I feared. Well, not really feared, more like was acutely aware of. And not really lost, just pushed up inside me to make a receptacle for the use of other men. Again, I kept my eyes glued to the floor. I had no idea what kind of shoe he was going to make me wear. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be high heels. I don’t know how women manage to walk around in those!

In a moment, he was kneeling in front of me, shoes in hand. “Let’s try these for size”, he said. He slipped his hand behind my left ankle, and pulled it forward, positioning the shoe by my toes, ready to slide it onto my foot. As he pushed it on, it slipped easily into place. It was a perfect fit – and not a high heel. It was built up a little at the heel, maybe an inch, or an inch and a half, but totally comfortable. I could wear these, I thought. He released my foot, and placing his hand behind the right ankle, repeated his earlier actions, placing the other shoe on my right foot. He held it there a moment, and then, unexpectedly, slid his hand up my calf. I hadn’t noticed before, but someone had shaved my legs. There wasn’t any hair on them, like there used to be. Unexpectedly, a thrill ran up my spine. He had touched me, or at least my leg, and I liked it! Strange, I thought. I’m not a woman yet. … I’m getting some mixed signals here. As my doctor, is he deliberately trying to excite me, or just see if I’ll respond to his touch. Either way, I wanted more, and figured I would be getting it, soon.

He stood up, right in front of me and offered his hand. It was obvious he wanted me to stand. I took his hand, and carefully rose to a standing position, while being careful to continue looking at the floor.

“Good girl”, he offered. “You’re coming along nicely. Now try a few steps in your new shoes.” I followed his instruction, placing one foot in front of the other. My foot felt like it was at an odd angle – bent down at the toe. It was the effect of the built-up heel, of course. I’d have to get used to that. It would come in time, I thought.

He stepped to my side and took me by the elbow again, leading me towards the door with short, faltering steps. It would take me a while to get used to these new shoes, but I was determined to do it. Strangely, I felt drawn to this man – this doctor who held my future in his hands – literally! I had accepted that he was going to turn me into a woman. ... And make me a new sexual being. Jeez! I’m beginning to fantasize about my doctor. Are those drugs still working on my brain, or what? Well, he said they would.

Down the hallway he guided me, stopping again in front of a door with a big, red “A” on it. “This is the surgical amphitheater,” he said, fishing a keying out of his pants pocket and opening the door. He guided me into a darkened room and let the door close behind us. We were standing there in the dark. I took the moment to take a peek at his face. He was obviously enjoying showing me the Clinic, or maybe he was just enjoying being with me. I quickly looked down, again. I didn’t want him catching me looking into his face or eyes.

I was just in time … as my eyes hit the floor, his finger hit the light switch and the entire area was bathed in bright light. The whole wall was a window into the operating room. Seats were arranged in a straight row in front of the window so people could get a clear, overhead view of the operating table. I wondered who those seats were for, because I figured this Clinic might be operating a bit clandestinely.

“In a couple of hours, you’ll be down there”, he said, nodding his head toward the operating table. “Don’t be afraid. It’ll be mostly over in three weeks.” He was referring to the three weeks he was going to keep me in a coma, of course, so there would be no pain. And no regrets, once the deed was done. I felt comfortable with this man. I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me, and together, we would get me through this.

I nodded. It was a nod of agreement, as well as submission to his will. I was confident that whatever came, he would be doing his best to take care of me.

“Did you select a name, yet?”, he asked..

I hadn’t really thought about it in depth, so gave him the first name I could think of. I don’t know where it came from, or why I thought of that particular name, but I guess it was as good as any… “Yes”, I responded… “Anne. Anne Bentley.”

“Okay, Miss Bentley. … It’s almost time to get you ready for surgery”, he said, looking at his watch, “… and you still have to meet our nutritionist. Come along”, he said, as he guided me back into the hallway.

I was amazed at this man. He could be a stern father-figure at one moment, and a tender care-giver in the next. I could easily like him, and follow his every wish.

Again, the short, uncertain steps as he walked me up the hall. My legs were bare and my ass was cold. I believed I’d get used to all these new feelings. Maybe not tonight, but in three weeks or so, wow! It was a lot to think about. A lot to take in right now. Tonight, I was going to be reborn.

Next week, Jim meets Miss Sims, the Physician’s Assistant, becomes Anne, and meets Henry, her orderly.

 

07.03.08

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